p/b (Martin) (potatoblight) wrote,
p/b (Martin)
potatoblight

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Why?

.

The fragility of life is lost so easily in our everyday doings.
How finite this flesh is. How mortal we are.

I'm angry at my God.
I want to scream in his face.
Instead, I'll just sit here quietly on the couch and weep my selfish tears and type out this pathetic post.......

Thoughts are racing through my mind, as fast as they come, they go. Emotions roil in my heart. I am a cauldron of confliction. The tumult of duality raging inside me.
Love for this life, for the beauty of each breath on this earth.
Hate for the suffering, needless mortal pain.

Ralph sits in his window, gazing out into the world he can never have, watching.

I'm going to move this silly rant over to my LJ before I really pick up steam and have a small book written here.

Today was a tough day for us. Even tougher for some. I feel so powerless, so useless, so fucking ineffectual.
My Mom asked me earlier if she was crying for herself or for her sister. I answered, both.

The next few months are going to be bittersweet. I cry now for my Mom, my Aunt, my Grandmother, so many more....... My stupid foolish tears.

Strength to them.

Why does the shit always hit the fan come Christmas?





Sometimes I hate that I can feel so much.


My Aunt Ruth is stage 4. Given 6 months to 1 year of life left.



I was going to write out so much more............ But now I just feel drained and empty.
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